17 February 2013

        Wrote 1200+ words today, 'Jeff at the professor's' and some editing. Threw away a lot though (had to). Wondering if fleshing out BA is necessary/good. Want to play off of mysteriousness of the field, keep it as much in the dark as possible. Explained whole plot as I have it in mind to a friend the other day. There is no worse feedback to give someone than 'it sounds good' though it helps to have time to remember the overarching plot and get a way from minor details for a little while. Read 'a gently but rigorous introduction to surreal numbers' on sunday. Found it very helpful in fleshing out parts of BA and knowing what to stay away from. Found a number of correllates in the systems, hope that doesn't come back to bite me. Applied for unemployment today, see what happens with that. Finding concepts, or rather knowing where to go next is becoming dicey, that feeling that I have no ideas until the last second when I start writing is eternally frightening. Feel like if I find it hard to come up with ideas today where will I be in two weeks? two months? Interested to see if there is any response to the excerpt in signed.

Feel worried at times that the characters do not stay 'consistent'. They have definitely solid personalities in my mind but at times they can change in tone, behavior etc. Not sure of how big a problem this could be, not sure if anyone would notice or if this could just be attributed to 'development'  or whatever. Not sure who this book will appeal to, want to say fans of DFW, Bolano, Calvino (maybe) and maaaaaybe some alt-lit writers, but then they probably wouldn't like it. Feel like it is too much realism to the folks that are interested in fantastic elements and too fantastic to those interested in realistic elements. Probably just not good enough for those interested in quality elements haha...

Changed title today. Been thinking about it for a week or so but felt Basic Analysis (in all it's mysterious, banal elevated terpitude) is more attractive and appropriate while leaving 'City on a Hill' or "A City on a Hill" or "As a City upon a Hill' as the title of part one. Should I even keep the distinction into parts? Seems that is declasse at this point or could I ride it back up, surf it to popularity or something?

ugh...what the fuck am I even doing...