Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Strange things I believed as a child

I was a weird kid, I guess maybe no weirder than any other kid but I had some strange beliefs which I've recently began to recall.

1. I thought that all the adults that I interacted with (my parents, teachers etc.) were actually just 4 or 5 people who changed costumes and played different roles. This was never a rigorous belief, like I never decided that my 2nd grade teacher Mrs. Ridge was also playing my grand father, but I had a feeling. I don't know what initiated this belief and I always "played along", like I never called anyone out on it, but I easily thought about it for years .

2. In relation to #1 I was pretty sure that adults changed what they were doing when I came around and were always aware of my position. I distinctly remember thinking there were hidden panels in the floor of my house that alerted my mom as to when i was approaching so she could begin "washing dishes" or "cleaning the floor". I don't remember ever thinking about what adults were doing when I wasn't around (perhaps changing into 'mom' costume) it was just the fact that when I approached (and there was always some elaborate indicator of my proximity) they started doing adult stuff.

3. When I was younger, maybe 3-6 this was a big one, and it persisted quite a long time though to a lesser degree. When I would watch a VHS and the movie ended I would get this deep piercing anxiety as the credits rolled. It had something to do with the tape finishing, as if there was somersetting terrible at the very end of every cassette. Again I can't remember what started this, maybe something to do with the Interpol anti-copying notice, but I would freak out and start yelling for the nearest adult when the movie ended. It's hard to describe just how terrifying this was, especially as in hindsight it seems so silly, but there was this feeling that would well up in my bowels and spread throughout my body as the names went by which would then combine with the helplessness I felt at being unable to use the VCR and stop the movie. This then mixed with the feeling that all the "good" that happened during the movie must surely be balanced out by something bad after the credits rolled. Almost like an anti-movie on the otherside of the tape.


  1. hey, I'm curious what is your name? I really want to reblog this on my tumblr http://neatomosquitoaltlitfireworksshow.tumblr.com/ and I'm just wondering who I should credit it to...no worries if you don't want to say, though...enjoying your blog, take care...

    1. Credit to Sam Moss. Thanks for the reblog, I read Neatomosquito often and I really like what you are doing.

  2. Thanks Sam! I'm really glad you like the tumblr, that makes me feel good...have an awesome day...